Interview With Bone Werewolf Archie Hartigan

The Bone Moon – or Storm Moon as it is sometimes called – is rising in the Northern Hemisphere, so Lupine Life welcomed this email from our friend renowned supernatural expert Seth Greening over at Seth On Survival offering to share an excerpt of his recent adventures with a real life Bone Werewolf named Archie Hartigan. He promises us the full story will be out, “Soon. Ish.”

Seth Greening: First, what’s with the Twitter feed. I know you Bone Werewolves are not famous for your great howls, but are you telling me that you need Twitter to communicate now?

Archie Hartigan: Not exactly. It’s more just how me and my friends communicate.

Seth Greening: Your human friends?

Archie Hartigan: Mostly.

Seth Greening: Yeah about that. What’s with your friend Pete?  Why does he like oatmeal so much anyway?

Archie Hartigan: I don’t know if I’m allowed to say right now. You’ll have to clear it with him first.

Seth Greening: Okay okay I get it. Secret. Fine. Well then what can you tell me about your first transformation?

Archie Hartigan: Nothing much.

Seth Greening: Because it’s a secret?

Archie Hartigan: No because I don’t remember. All I remember is I woke up in a secure containment facility that looked like a hospital and my friends Pete and Nell told me they got it all on video. They made me watch it. At first I didn’t believe it was me. Then I thought it was a big joke they were playing because I didn’t even go full wolf, just like furious, drooling wolf-man.

Seth Greening: What finally convinced you the video was real?

Archie Hartigan: Raven.

Seth Greening: You’re friends with Raven? I know her! She’s a were-maid? Or mer-wolf who splits her time on the full moons between being a werewolf and a mermaid?

Archie Hartigan: No, I mean Raven, a bird. One just appeared and suddenly I could talk to her. It.

Seth Greening: Oh. What do Ravens like to talk about?

Archie Hartigan: Well they speak in poetry so sometimes it’s hard to figure out. But they land on your shoulder and talk right into your ear.

Seth Greening: That sounds pretty cool.

Archie Hartigan: Yeah. Anyway, because I couldn’t talk to ravens before the full moon I figured that maybe Pete was telling me the truth.

Seth Greening: So have you figured out how to control your transformations yet?

Archie Hartigan: Not 100%. Raven keeps bringing me things and I keep trying but so far I  can’t predict it. Will I be a full wolf? Or a wolf man? Or just like, have one paw that I have to hide in a sling until the full moon is over…? I never know.

Seth Greening: What do you mean Raven keeps bringing you things? What kind of things?

Archie Hartigan: Like all kinds of things. Pieces of string, something that looked like a pearl, a chicken bone… you name it. At first I thought they were all for me, all like, important objects. Then I figured out Raven was also trying to build a nest in the corner of the roof under my bedroom window. But she made it clear that she is looking for something called [insert incomprehensible bird sounds here]. It will help me control my transformations.

Seth Greening: Is there a human translation for that?

Archie Hartigan: Not really.

Seth Greening: Is it similar to the Eye of Ghicah’los that you just….

Archie Hartigan: Seth I warned you not to bring that up.

Seth Greening: Sorry. Sometimes I can’t help myself.

Archie Hartigan: Yeah. I noticed that. I just hope nobody heard you.

Seth Greening: Me too.

Archie Hartigan: I better go. The moon is almost full and Raven says there’s a Poe outbreak in progress. We have to stop it.

Seth Greening: I understand. I heard about that too. Thanks for stopping by SOS HQ tonight.

Archie Hartigan: Anytime. Keep on keeping on Seth.

Seth Greening: Thanks I’ll try. You too.

Look for more about the adventures of Archie Hartigan as told to Seth Greening on the next full moon…